Christian's Secret of a Happy Life - Chapter 14 Chapter 14
A great many Christians are slaves to the habit of doubting. No drunkard wasever more utterly bound by the chains of his fatal habit than they are bytheirs. Every step of their whole Christian life is taken against the fearfulodds of an army of doubts, that are forever lying in wait to assail them ateach favorable moment. Their lives are made wretched, their usefulness iseffectually hindered, and their communion with God is continually broken bytheir doubts. And although the entrance of the soul upon the life of faith, ofwhich this book treats, does in many cases take it altogether out of the regionwhere these doubts live and flourish; yet even here it sometimes happens thatthe old tyrant will rise up and reassert his sway, and will cause the feet tostumble and the heart to fail, even when he cannot succeed in utterly turningthe believer back into the dreary wilderness again.
DOUBTS We all of us remember, doubtless, thechildish fascination, and yet horror, of that story of Christian's imprisonmentin Doubting Castle by the wicked giant Despair, and our exultant sympathy inhis escape through those massive gates and from that cruel tyrant. Little didwe suspect then that we should ever find ourselves taken prisoner by the samegiant, and imprisoned in the same castle. And yet I fear to every member of theChurch of Christ there has been at least one such experience. Turn to theaccount again, if it is not fresh in your minds, and see if you do not seepictured there experiences of your own that have been very grievous to bear atthe time, and very sorrowful to look back upon afterwards.
It seems strange that people, whose very name ofBelievers implies that their one chiefest characteristic is that they believe,should have to confess to such experiences. And yet it is such a universalhabit that I feel if the majority of the Church were to be named over again,the only fitting and descriptive name that could be given them would be that ofDoubters. In fact, most Christians have settled down under their doubts, as toa sort of inevitable malady, from which they suffer acutely, but to which theymust try to be resigned as a part of the necessary discipline of this earthlylife. And they lament over their doubts as a man might lament over hisrheumatism, making themselves out as an "interesting case" of especial andpeculiar trial, which requires the tenderest sympathy and the utmostconsideration.
And this is too often true of believers, who areearnestly longing to enter upon the life and walk of faith, and who have madeperhaps many steps towards it. They have got rid, it may be, of the old doubtsthat once tormented them, as to whether their sins are really forgiven, andwhether they shall, after all, get safe to Heaven; but they have not got rid ofdoubting. They have simply shifted the habit to a higher platform. They aresaying, perhaps, "Yes, I believe my sins are forgiven, and I am a child of Godthrough faith in Jesus Christ. I dare not doubt this any more. But then--" Andthis "but then" includes an interminable array of doubts concerning everydeclaration and every promise our Father has made to His children. One afteranother they fight with them and refuse to believe them, until they can havesome more reliable proof of their being true, than the simple word of theirGod. And then they wonder why they are permitted to walk in such darkness, andlook upon themselves almost in the light of martyrs, and groan under thepeculiar spiritual conflicts they are compelled to endure.
Spiritual conflicts! Far better would they benamed did we call them spiritual rebellions! Our fight is to be a fight offaith, and the moment we doubt, our fight ceases and our rebellion begins.
I desire to put forth, if possible, one vigorousprotest against this whole thing. Just as well might I join in with the lamentof a drunkard and unite with him in prayer for grace to endure the disciplineof his fatal indulgence, as to give way for one instant to the weak complaintsof these enslaved souls, and try to console them under their slavery. To oneand to the other I would dare to do nothing else but proclaim the perfectdeliverance the Lord Jesus Christ has in store or them, and beseech, entreat,command them, with all the force of my whole nature, to avail themselves of itand be free. Not for one moment would I listen to their despairing excuses. Youought to be free, you can be free, you MUST be free!
Will you undertake to tell me that it is aninevitable necessity for God to be doubted by His children? Is it an inevitablenecessity for your children to doubt you? Would you tolerate their doubts asingle hour? Would you pity your son and condole with him, and feel that he wasan interesting case, if he should come to you and say, "Father, I cannotbelieve your word, I cannot trust your love"?
I remember once seeing the indignation of amother I knew, stirred to its very depths by a little doubting on the part ofone of her children. She had brought two little girls to my house to leave themwhile she did some errands. One of them, with the happy confidence ofchildhood, abandoned herself to all the pleasures she could find in my nursery,and sang and played until her mother's return. The other one, with the wretchedcaution and mistrust of maturity, sat down alone in a corner to wonder whetherher mother would remember to come back for her, and to fear she would beforgotten, and to imagine her mother would be glad of the chance to get rid ofher anyhow, because she was such a naughty girl, and ended with working herselfup into a perfect frenzy of despair. The look on that mother's face, when uponher return the weeping little girl told what was the matter with her, I shallnot easily forget. Grief, wounded love, indignation, and pity, all strovetogether for mastery. But indignation gained the day, and I doubt if thatlittle girl was ever so vigorously dealt with before. A hundred times in mylife since has that scene come up before me with deepest teaching, and hascompelled me, peremptorily, to refuse admittance to the doubts about myHeavenly Father's love, and care, and remembrance of me, that have clamored atthe door of my heart for entrance.
I am convinced that to many people doubting is areal luxury, and to deny themselves from indulging in it would be to exercisethe hardest piece of self-denial they have ever known. It is a luxury that,like the indulgence in all other luxuries, brings very sorrowful results; and,perhaps, looking at the sadness and misery it has brought into your ownChristian experience, you may be tempted to say, "Alas! This is no luxury tome, but only a fearful trial." But pause for a moment. Try giving it up, andyou will soon find out whether it is a luxury or not. Do not your doubts cometrooping to your door as a company of sympathizing friends, who appreciate yourhard case, and have come to condole with you? And is it no luxury to sit downwith them and entertain them, and listen to their arguments, and join in withtheir condolences? Would it be no self-denial to turn resolutely from them, andrefuse to hear a word they have to say? If you do not know, try it and see.
Have you never tasted the luxury of indulging inhard thoughts against those who have, as you think, injured you? Have you neverknown what a positive fascination it is to brood over their unkindnesses, andto pry into their malice, and to imagine all sorts of wrong and uncomfortablethings about them? It has made you wretched, of course, but it has been afascinating sort of wretchedness that you could not easily give up.
And just like this is the luxury of doubting.Things have gone wrong with you in your experience. Dispensations have beenmysterious, temptations have been peculiar, your case has seemed different fromthat of any one's around you. What more natural than to conclude that for somereason God has forsaken you, and does not love you, and is indifferent to yourwelfare? And how irresistible is the conviction that you are too wicked for Himto care for, or too difficult for Him to manage.
You do not mean to blame Him, or accuse Him ofinjustice, for you feel that His indifference and rejection of you are fullydeserved because of your unworthiness. And this very subterfuge leaves you atliberty to indulge in your doubts under the guise of a just and trueappreciation of your own shortcomings. But all the while you are as reallyindulging in hard and wrong thoughts of your Lord as ever you did of a humanenemy; for He says He came not to save the righteous, but sinners; and yourvery sinfulness and unworthiness is your chiefest claim upon His love and Hiscare.
As well might the poor little lamb that haswandered from the flock and got lost in the wilderness say, "The shepherd doesnot love me, nor care for me, nor remember me, because I am lost. He only lovesand cares for the lambs that never wander." As well might the ill man say, "Thedoctor will not come to see me, nor give me any medicines, because I am ill. Heonly cares for and visits well people." Jesus says, "They that are whole neednot a physician, but they that are sick." And again He says, "What man of you,having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety andnine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?" Anythoughts of Him, therefore, which are different from what He says of Himself,are hard thoughts; and to indulge in them is far worse than to indulge in hardthoughts of any earthly friend or foe. From the beginning to the end of yourChristian life it is always sinful to indulge in doubts. Doubts are all fromthe devil, and are always untrue. And the only way to meet them is by a directand emphatic denial.
And this brings me to the practical part of thewhole subject, as to how to get deliverance from this fatal habit. My answerwould be that the deliverance from this can be by no other means than thedeliverance from any other sin. It is to be found in the Lord and in Him only.You must hand your doubting over to Him, as you have learned to hand your othertemptations. You must do just what you do with your temper, or your pride. Youmust give it up to the Lord. I believe myself the only effectual remedy is totake a pledge against it as you would urge a drunkard to do against drink,trusting in the Lord alone to keep you steadfast.
Like any other sin, the stronghold is in the willand the will to doubt must be surrendered exactly as you surrender the will toyield to any other temptation. God always takes possession of a surrenderedwill. And if we come to the point of saying that we will not doubt, andsurrender this central fortress of our nature to Him, His blessed Spirit willbegin at once to work in us all the good pleasure of His will, and we shallfind ourselves kept from doubting by His mighty and overcoming power.
The trouble is that in this matter of doubtingthe soul does not always make a full surrender, but is apt to reserve to itselfa little secret liberty to doubt, looking upon it as being sometimes anecessity. "I do not want to doubt any more," we will say, or, "I hope I shallnot"; but it is hard to come to the point of saying, "I will not doubt again."But no surrender is effectual until it reaches the point of saying, "I willnot". The liberty to doubt must be given up forever. And the soul must consentto a continuous life of inevitable trust. It is often necessary, I think, tomake a definite transaction of this surrender of doubting, and to come to apoint about it. I believe it is quite as necessary in the case of a doubter asin the case of a drunkard. It will not do to give it up by degrees. The totalabstinence principle is the only effectual one here.
Then, the surrender once made, the soul must restabsolutely upon the Lord for deliverance in each time of temptation. It mustlift up the shield of faith the moment the assault comes. It must hand the veryfirst suggestion of doubt over to the Lord, and must tell the enemy to settlethe matter with Him. It must refuse to listen to the doubt a single moment. Letit come ever so plausibly, or under whatever guise of humility, the soul mustsimply say, "I dare not doubt; I must trust. The Lord is good, and HE DOES loveme. Jesus saves me; He saves me now." Those three little words, repeated overand over, -- "Jesus saves me, Jesus saves me," -- will put to flight thegreatest army of doubts that ever assaulted any soul. I have tried it timeswithout number, and have never known it to fail. Do not stop to argue thematter out with your doubts, nor try to prove that they are wrong. Pay noattention to them whatever; treat them with the utmost contempt. Shut your doorin their faces, and emphatically deny every word they say to you. Bring up some"It is written," and hurl it after them. Look right at Jesus, and tell Him youtrust Him, and you mean to trust Him. Let the doubts clamor as they may, theycannot hurt you if you will not let them in.
I know it will look to you sometimes as thoughyou were shutting the door against your best friends, and your heart will longafter your doubts more than ever the Israelites longed after the flesh-pots ofEgypt. But deny yourself; take up your cross in this matter, and unmercifullyrefuse ever to listen to a single word.
This very day a perfect army of doubts stoodawaiting my awaking, and clamored at my door for admittance. Nothing seemedreal, nothing seemed true; and least of all did it seem possible that I --miserable, wretched -- could be the object of the Lord's love, or care, ornotice. If I only had been at liberty to let these doubts in, and invite themto take seats and make themselves at home, what a luxury I should have felt itto be! But years ago I made a pledge against doubting; and I would as soonthink of violating my pledge against intoxicating liquor as to violate thisone. I DARED not admit the first doubt. I therefore lifted up my shield offaith the moment I was conscious of these suggestions, and handing the wholearmy over to my Lord to conquer, I began to say, over and over, "The Lord doeslove me. He is my present and my perfect Saviour; Jesus saves me, Jesus savesme now!" The victory was complete. The enemy had come in like a flood, but theLord lifted up a standard against him, and he was routed and put to flight; andmy soul is singing the song of Moses and the children of Israel, saying, "Iwill sing unto the Lord, for He hath triumphed gloriously: the horse and hisrider hath He thrown into the sea. The Lord is my strength and my song, and Heis become my salvation. The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is His name."
It will help you to resist the assaults of thistemptation to doubt, to see clearly that doubting is sin. It is certainly adirect disobedience to our Lord, who commands us, "Let not your heart betroubled, neither let it be afraid." And all through the Bible everywhere thecommands to trust are imperative, and admit of no exceptions. Time and roomwould fail me to refer to one hundredth part of these, but no one can read thePsalms without being convinced that the man who trusts without a question, isthe only man who pleases God and is accepted of Him. The "provocation" ofIsrael was that they did not trust; "anger also came up against Israel, becausethey believed not in God, and trusted not in His salvation." (Psalms 78:17-22.)And in contrast, we read in Isaiah concerning those who trust, "Thou wilt keephim in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth inThee." Nothing grieves or wounds our hearts like doubting on the part of afriend, and nothing, I am convinced, grieves the heart of God more thandoubting from us.
One of my children, who is now with the Lord,said to me one evening as I was tucking her up in bed, "Well, mother, I havehad my first doubt." "Oh, Ray," I said, "what was it?" "Why," she replied,"Satan came to me and told me not to believe the Bible, for it was not a wordof it true." "And what did thee say to him?" I asked. "Oh," she replied,triumphantly, "I just said to him, Satan, I will believe it. So there!" I wasdelighted with the child's spiritual intelligence in knowing so well how tomeet doubts, and encouraged her with all my heart, explaining to her how alldoubts and discouragements are from the enemy, and how he is always a liar andmust not be listened to for a moment. The next night, I had forgotten all aboutit, however, and was surprised and startled when she said, as I was tucking herin bed, "Well, mother, Satan has been at it again." "Oh, Ray darling!" Iexclaimed in dismay, "what did he say this time?" "Well," she replied, "he justtold me that I was such a naughty little girl that Jesus could not love me, andI was foolish to think He did." "And what did thee say this time?" I asked."Oh!" she replied, "I just looked at him cross and said, Satan, shut thymouth!" And then she added, with a smile, "He can't make me unhappy one bit." Agrander battle no soul ever fought than this little child had done, and nogreater victory was ever won!
Dear, doubting soul, go and do likewise; and asimilar victory shall be thine. As you lay down this book take up your pen andwrite out your determination never to doubt again. Make it a real transactionbetween your soul and the Lord. Give up your liberty to doubt forever. Put yourwill in this matter over on the Lord's side, and trust Him to keep you fromfalling. Tell him all about your utter weakness and your long-encouraged habitsof doubt, and how helpless you are before your enemy, and commit the wholebattle to Him. Tell Him you will not doubt again; and then henceforward keepyour face steadfastly looking unto Jesus, away from yourself and away from yourdoubts, holding fast the profession of your faith without wavering, because Heis faithful who has promised. And as surely as you do thus hold the beginningof your confidence steadfast unto the end, just so surely shall you findyourself in this matter made more than conqueror, through Him who loves you.