Hello friends! I have been saved for a little over a year now and I am so thankful for the wonderful changes God has made in me and in my life. His Kingdom reigns!!
My life started out on the wrong foot. My two sisters and I were sexually abused by our dad when we were very young. I was too young to know what was going on, and unfortunately my other two sisters got it worse than I did. When I was a kid, me, my sister, and our half sister went to church regularly. I loved going, but I didn't understand that Jesus was real. In the years that followed I started to get really angry at God for letting those awful things happen to me and my sisters. I was always asking "why me, why us?" And I also thought that since I didn't get the brunt of the abuse, that I wasn't affected. Boy was I wrong!! As a result of the abuse, I have had really low self- esteem my whole life, and I have always been an introvert. I never thought myself good enough for anyone I guess.
When I was 16 I started to get into relationships that I had no business getting in to. I now realize that it was only for sex. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't stop. Unfortunately, I even got into two of these relationships after I got saved. I was so ashamed of myself!!
I started going to church regularly about a year ago, and I actually liked it. My mom had asked me to go with her, so I said ok. We started going every week, sometimes twice, and I got saved after about a month. Then I got baptized on September 4, 2002. I felt like a new person, but some of my behaviors hadn't changed.
As I look back on the last couple of weeks I feel that satan has been trying to ruin me. I have experienced road blocks in the way of a job I thought I was going to get, but that didn't happen. And I had so much regret about those relationships, and I felt so unloved by God, and worthless because I thought my sin was too big to be forgiven by God. And then I really started to worry that God was going to punish me big time for what I had done. But God doesn't do that, I found out. He might chastise us with circumstances, but He won't punish us. If so, why would we have needed Jesus?
I started thinking really hard about it and I sought the advice of other Christians. Praise the Lord that He used them to tell me that I was forgiven and that I am loved. I acknowleged this a long time ago, but I never really believed it. I do now!! I know the Lord loves me and that he causes all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
My friends, the Lord has taught me much about Him and myself in the last few days. I know for sure, without a doubt that I will be with Him for eternity!! God loves YOU and all He wants is for you to accept His free gift of salvation so that you can spend eternity with Him. God also has a special plan for you, just ask Him to show you what it is.
Matthew 7:7-8 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door wil be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
The Lord has fought for me, and I have just recently realized that He doesn't need my help!! I urge anyone out there who doesn't know Jesus to find Him now. The time is short, but He is waiting for you with arms wide open.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will set your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5-6
All you have to do is believe.....
In Jesus' love --